Thursday, May 04, 2006

After some good, long, deep, and much needed conversations with The Boy over the past two weeks, I have come to the conclusion I knew I should have come to a long time ago. I can't keep this blog from him. But I am not ready to tell him I've been talking about our relationship (albeit, anonymously). So, it logically follows, that the only course of action I take be to say goodbye to this blog.

I am not sure I can totally stop blogging, but this blog was started as a vent. I wanted it to be about single people and how it was cool and I was proud of my long time single status. For so long, it defined who I was, and I was really, truly happy. This past year has been about trying to integrate my strong single mentalities into a relationship with the man that I love.

I can't simply start blogging about other things. If I do continue with blogging, I want MB to be able to read it. I am not hiding anything I have written about our relationship. The things I have posted are things him and I have discussed. I guess it feels likes I am holding out on him. And I strongly believe that there can be no secrets in a healthy relationship.

I should have done this a long time ago. But it was that single-minded mentality, that need to keep away part of my self as a form of self preservation that did not allow me to do that. Bloody defence mechanisms. This past month, I have done much deep soul searching and decided I need to let go completely. And so it has to be.

So, with more emotion than I can convey in mere typed words, Goodbye and Goodluck. I'll miss you.